63 and free

After three months of purgatory, otherwise known as selling, donating or disposing of the ‘stuff’ one accumulates over 25 years in order to ‘stage’ a house properly, one learns a few things:

1. You will need to be in far better physical condition than David. Getting ‘in shape’ on the job is not a wise decision.
2. Owning a truck capable of moving a herd of cattle would have helped a lot.
3. The time you think you will need is low by a factor of 2.
4. You will need 4X the number of boxes you initially think you will need.
5. If your wife has arachnophobia, order 10X the amount of packaging tape you first thought you might need. ‘Spider-proofing’ a box is no small task.
6. You WILL get tired of asking, “Hun, what the hell is this. and who bought it?”
7. All that crap you got rid of in order to stage the house amounts to only a third of what you eventually get rid of.
8. What you really love and want to keep is directly proportional to weight. Moving and storage companies charge by the pound. The bastards know this rule.
9. The one brilliant move we did: MOVE OUT the weekend you show. Get a fine hotel room, bring lots of gin and treat yourselves. Make your realtor work while you chillax.
10. Taking a month long road trip after it is sold compresses the time frame to possession date. Fine if you are young. Stupid if you are old.
11. Have lots of friends and family around the week before possession. You might collapse without them.
12. There will be screw ups, but remember that saying that David spouts every once in a while; “Never drive on the highway of life in a car with a rear view mirror.”